Reverse Bucket List - What not to Put on Your Final To-Do's - Lucky 7

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By JoshuaThePost

In 2007 America was introduced to - ‘[The] Bucket List’- made popular by an awful movie with the same title. The movie, starring Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman, highlighted the exploits of 2 terminally ill men who escaped a cancer ward on great adventures while completing a list of things to be done before they die. In fact, prior to the cinematic release not many cared or even knew what a “Bucket List” was, and in the 5 years that have since followed everyone seems to have one.

Merriam-Webster defines bucket list under slang as (noun): A list of tasks to complete before one dies, or "kicks the bucket."

Simple enough - make a list of things to do before you die - but then what, once it is done? Start it all over again is the assumption, but is it really a bucket list to begin with?

The subjective manner is far too confusing in reality, which in truth, makes it more philosophical - and, philosophically speaking, a ‘Bucket List’ is far too complex to delve into without debate. So without further adieu it is presented, without further interruption –

The weekly ‘Lucky 7.’

The Anti-Bucket List, otherwise known as the Reverse Bucket List.

Seven items to avoid on your personal Bucket List, for obvious or perhaps unobvious reasons.

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The Lucky 7

7. Murder: Sure its inclusion on the list of cardinal sins should make this selection a ‘no-brainer’, but that is the problem with assumptions – and assuming that you the reader are Christian, or of great moral character, but how is that known? Also it is not known whether or not your choices are influenced by the movie Thelma and Louise, therefore, murder makes the list at #7.

6. Bank Robbery: As made popular by such movies as, Point Break and Killing Zoe Bank Robbery would be a poor choice indeed. Chances are you will either not get away with it, or you will get shot in the process, just ask Bonnie and Clyde.

5. Drug Smuggling: Not withstanding the fact that you would be keeping bad company, the thought of swallowing heroin filled balloons and condoms seems to be enough of a deterrent. The actuality of 30 to life could make this the shortest Bucket List ever – unless your list includes prison or anything involving the inside of a prison for the rest of your life.

4. Joining a Death Cult: Sure enough kids, remember the Hale-Bopp comet and the Heavens Gate? Generic Nike shoes, purple shrouds and bunk beds were never looked at the same. The spaceship following behind the comet may or may not have picked them up, but how would anyone ever know? Also, need we forget The Peoples Temple, The Solar Temple and the Branch Davidians? All great organizations to put on your resume cover sheet or vita.

3. Lion Taming: Just ask Siegfreid and Roy. You can’t have a giant predator in your midst, trust the fact that it is ‘tamed’, and NOT expect it to eat your head. This unfortunate incident did indeed occur and should follow with a personal mantra of ‘spending time around animals that are equally as high as you on the food chain is a bad idea.’

2. Hiking in the mountains of Afghanastan/Iran/Iraq: We already know that working as a journalist in the Middle East poses many dangers and threats and that the area is ultimately riddled with the Taliban and, oh yeah, war! But that won’t stop some from hiking in the pristine wilderness of the Desert Mountains - giving new meaning to the saying: “killer hike dude! Pass the granola!”

1. Watching the movie ‘The Bucket List’: If you have seen the movie - apologies. If you have seen it and liked it - bigger apologies. If you have not seen it, save yourself the trouble and be glad you read this list. If you have not seen the movie but still want to see the movie, you have been warned, but be this your final warning – you will feel cheated of your emotions.

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@joshuathepost

Comments

lisa.bom profile image

lisa.bom Level 3 Commenter 4 months ago

Funny stuff.

stclairjack profile image

stclairjack Level 4 Commenter 4 months ago

lol!

rebeccamealey profile image

rebeccamealey Level 7 Commenter 4 months ago

Ha! Well I HAVE been wanting to see that movie! Thanks for the heads up

tammyswallow profile image

tammyswallow Level 8 Commenter 4 months ago

Darn, I guess I am going to have to go back and revise my list now.. LOL! Very creative.. you ARE an abstract thinker!

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